I hate grief. It sucks. I go from being happy to being sad in 2.5 seconds. I can't go to the florist w/o feeling weepy. I can't go past the cemetery w/o feeling guilty that its closed and I can't go in. I can't drive to work w/o crying the whole way. Mornings are so bad for some reason. Maybe it's cause I am starting a new day without him, maybe its because I miss Caroline.
Now because of menkes, I've become so paranoid about Cassidy's health. If she gets a bruise, I think she must have Leukemia. Its craziness!!!
I know, in the grand scheme of things, I am doing well and as expected. I guess it's just one of those days.
Tina
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I hate this...
Posted by Tina at 2:23 PM
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4 comments:
Hi Tina,
I've been following Lance's story for a few years now. He was such a strong little boy and you are such a good mom. I just thought I'd check in and say hi. I can't begin to fully understand what you are going through but please know that I'm thinking of you.
Tina I think that you being able to admit you have days, times, moments like these is a good thing. You have every right to have these times. I can't even imagine in the slightest how you feel, but my heart aches that you feel this way. You are so amazing, so strong and such an inspiration to everyone around you!
Obviously, I can't even pretend to be in your shoes, but I know what you mean about thinking everything is a major problem. Emmi is so much better now, but you never get over being told that she won't live. They gave her a life expectancy of one year, so now I feel like every day is borrowed time. The child gets tired, and I start obssessing over whether or not it is a sign of something more. I guess you never get over it, do you? And if that is how I feel, then I can't even imagine how you feel.
Thinking of you Tina and sending you a big hug.
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